One of my least favourite things is mother’s day. I find it an opportunity every year to beat myself up for not being the mother I think I ought to be. Not that it would be possible to be the mother in my head that I should be of course. My ideal mum would have organically fed, beautifully behaved and perfectly turned out children, without looking stressed herself. She would be patient, kind and interested in every aspect of her children’s development, and always have a smile on her face. She would be interested in helping the community and writing new recipes, whilst pursuing a fulfilling career and being a supportive wife to her lovely husband.
I definitely have a lovely husband who I try and support, but don’t think I score very highly on the other bits! I am good at juggling and can get our 2 fed, into the bath and into bed in less than an hour, I can read a good story, I am good at taking them out to do fun things, I like teaching them new things, and I enjoy watching them play on their own, and try not to interfere too much. I don’t mind them getting muddy or taking risks, and try and force-feed them vegetables. I help with meals and we sometimes do baking or craft activities together, and I can count on one hand the number of bathtimes I have missed. Like most mums I contribute financially towards keeping our home and lifestyle afloat, and am looking forward to our first summer holiday abroad for a while this year.
I have realised recently that as a Christian, mum, friend, wife and co-worker, I am mainly short in one department, which is being forgving, kind, patient and loving towards myself. I need to cut myself more slack, and not keep raising the bar every time I achieve some sort of goal or project.
This is important anyway in life, but spiritually it is essential.
Why? Because God does not force himself on us, we have to let him into our lives, and if we are too busy telling him why he shouldn’t bother loving us, then we can’t hear him knocking on the door, and we can’t let him in. Even then if we let him into our lives, as Christians if we are hiding from God behind a pile of things we can’t forgive ourselves for doing, it makes it difficult for him to give us a hug.
inspiredinyork 