John 10 v4 ‘When he has brought out all his own sheep, he goes in front of them. The sheep follow him because they know his voice.’

So it’s not an easy time right now. Understatement of the year!

I am not going to use the word that starts un.. and ends with dented… but you get the gist!

We’ve just been through the eye of the storm here, with a school closure, positive Covid tests in our family, and disruption to all our normal work and school patterns. Through this time I’ve become really conscious of how we care for ourselves and each other. A random hug from my son, a funny meme from my daughter, a delicious dinner from my husband, all help get through each day.

in lockdown I am bending god’s ears

My prayer life has not always been brilliant, but in lockdown I am bending god’s ears and trying to listen more attentively to what he may have to say!

I haven’t in the past seen my prayer life exactly as self-care, but more and more the penny has started to drop.

This is basically because my life is just more effective, less anxious, and less self-obsessed when I actually stop, listen to scripture, pray and hang out with someone who loves me dearly, aka God. He has my back and goes ahead of me, checking things out and making my path easier. When I pray I become a better mum, wife, priest, because my soul is nourished, and drenched in love. I am not dried up spiritually. It also means I’m alot easier to live with!

So why don’t I prioritise self-care more often? I am conscious there are no easy answers, but I think it has alot to do with not being able to rest. Evenings seem worse. Like many people I struggle to switch my brain off, to settle down with a good book, to go to bed early, to ignore Facebook, and turn off my emails. Instead I will drink some wine, check my phone, watch TV, and before I realize it’s 11.30pm and I’m so tired I can’t stay awake any longer to pray. So I’m praying that I will get better at this. I am trying to be a better version of me, the one that God is calling to follow him, at times this will be easier than others but God loves a trier!

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