In my new ambition to be “in the moment” I have found that sometimes doing nothing is necessary. Being still and thinking isn’t necessarily a waste of time. This is a kind of revelation for me as those of you who know me will be aware of my ability to pack in about a million things into one day, and as my husband puts it, my abject failure to “unitask”. This is of course a symptom of being a working mum. I am writing this while working from home, sorting out a party, researching and will shortly be getting some exercise (Cycling to the library!).
As christians we need to be able to hear God’s voice, and not assume he’s gone away or is putting his feet up just because we can’t hear what he is saying. I have probably had the same eperience as alot of women when you say something, and noone seems to hear it, but 30 seconds later someone else is saying it back to you! Older women also complain about feeling invisible. Maybe God feels the same!
The sermon on Sunday spoke about flying above the clouds in order to hear God’s voice, and not letting the clouds get in the way of seeing the bigger picture. For me, my “busyness” is often part of this barrier. I am too busy and important and stressed to listen to his voice, and also there are probably alot of other people who need to hear it more than me, so in my mind, I’m doing him a favour by keeping myself out of harm’s way, and not bothering him.
I recently purchased a patio knife. It scrapes out the moss and weeds between the paving stones on our patio, and it’s quite satisfying to dig out all the weeds. When I purchased this addition to our household, I was really quite excited. In the old days it would have been going to salsa, or a club or meeting new people that would have got me going! Church is also somewhere I didn’t use to hang out. Sunday mornings I was mainly asleep or hungover.
One of the key things I have learnt since becoming a Christian, is that God is no less interested in me now with my patio knife than he was when I was out partying. It’s not about obeying rules or conforming to a certain way of life. He loves me regardless. Just like being a “good enough” mum, I have to settle for being a “good enough” christian. God knows if I am trying my best and when to prod me if I’m getting too comfortable. I have nothing to prove and nowhere to go. This is quite an unusual concept for me to grasp!